The Palais Garnier was packed last night for a performance of Nicolas Le Riche's ballet Caligula but only a score or so of Edinburghers had been intrigued enough to come along to the Cameo for the simulcast.

Now my idea of Caligula is that he was mad, bad and dangerous to know; an impression reinforced by the bits of BBC radio's I Claudius that I caught recently. He loved his sister ( isn't that nice) and was so potty about his horse that it lived in bejewelled luxury and he proposed to make it a Roman consul (it didn't happen). He slaughtered thousands and was eventually done away with by the Praetorian Guard who tired of their mad, unpredictable tyrant.

Given all that you could be forgiven for expecting a Reservoir Dogs of a ballet. You would have been disappointed. According to the programme note "...Le Riche overturns clichés and embark (sic) upon an intimate exploration of a rich and complex personality."

This meant that his tyranny was reduced to giving some lads in black (guards, senators, legionaries?) a push from time to time and laughing hysterically at them. He danced lovingly with a couple of ladies, one of whom must have been his wife and the other the moon (another of his fixations) since both are named in the programme. By the way I almost never buy programmes but applaud managements like this one who give you a free A4 sheet of essentials.

He had a fit and twitched on the floor a couple of times to show us that he was ill not mad and every so often a chap in white came on stage accompanied by three others also in white but in flowing skirty garb rather than trousers ( well tights, this is ballet after all). These I took to be Mnester the famous pantomime actor (and said to be lover of Caligula) and his troupe. They didn't make me laugh.

I was particularly disappointed about the horse. Now the dancer did it beautifully, don't get me wrong and the close relationship between man and horse was tenderly portrayed but I was expecting a madman prancing about and adorning his horse with necklaces and sticking flowers behind its ears and a laurel crown on its head while putting to death the odd member of the gathered populace.

But it was all of a piece with the rest of the production, no blood and guts. I suppose I should have known from the start that it wasn't going to match my preconception since they were dancing to Vivaldi's The Four Seasons. It's lovely music but isn't in the blood and guts league and dare I say it, is a bit over used.

So the great question arose in my mind, will this Caligula die peacefully in his bed or will he be assassinated as history demands? I don't know what Nicolas le Riche decided because my eyes took a rest as the ballet reached its end.

Now my next ballet simulcast is the Bolshoi with Don Quixote. I do hope that we will get some decent and vigorous tilting at windmills.