The beauty of the carpark has not been enhanced by the addition of a double bed mattress, an ugly fabric covered bookcase and various odds and ends.

I suppose this is a small price to pay for the fire brigade's success yesterday morning in enforcing the statutory notice. They have helped keep us safe from an inferno but I wish they had frogmarched the mattress malefactor down to the dump at Craigentinny to dispose of it. Had they done so and had I been there I might have encouraged him to do the honourable thing and leap into the landfill skip to save us all from future distress.

For although the ground floor is now clear of rubbish I fear that the game is not over since some has found its way to the first floor where it is leaning cheekily against the lift door. I dare say it would have been inside had the lift not been out of order.

Perhaps it is a cry for help and we should call NHS24. With luck they would treat him with dignitas.

As for the smoking homeless intruder. All I can tell you is that he was taken away for possession of a controlled substance and is not homeless though thankfully he does not live here.