I’ve been up to my wellie tops in garden maintenance this morning. The spreading chestnut has been scratching my head when I cut the grass so some boughs had to go. There were various other trees and bushes that needed a bit of a chop so I waded in with secateurs and saws.

I tidied up the vine at the front quite successfully. It had wrapped itself around a plant in one of the upstairs window boxes and pulled the box forward so it was teetering on the edge. It was threatening to pull the phone line down as well.

But when pruning the vine at the back to prevent it from raising the roof tiles I severed what turned out to be a critical support and 90% of it came tumbling down. Now that’s no great tragedy because I don’t rely on the vine for either fruit or wine but it is nice to sit in the garden sipping chilled white surrounded by luscious black grapes. At least they look luscious but as we know all that glisters is not gold, and that counts for luscious looks too.

If luscious looks sometimes disappoint so today has Skype. To make further inroads into my credit I sent off an SMS half an hour ago but it is still sitting there “pending”. God knows what it’s waiting for but I suspect that Skype wants to confiscate my credit come what may and this is part of a dastardly plot. I shall give it another half hour and then reluctantly turn to my phone.